Dealing with Depression During COVID-19

I don’t think anyone is surprised to hear that mental health issues are on the rise in the United States since the Pandemic. Depression and anxiety rates have gone way up. A Kaiser Family Foundation poll found that nearly half of Americans report the Coronavirus is harming their mental health. Use of anti anxiety meds and antidepressant meds jumped 21% between February 15, 2020 and March 15, 2020.

 The variability in people’s experiences is at play here – often people will feel what’s called disenfranchised grief, in which a person feels they aren’t entitled to feel bad when others have it worse. 

 Here are some things to do if you’re feeling depression come on: 

1.  Figure out how to reconnect (don’t wait for other’s to reach out)

2. Remember others are experiencing similar things – you’re not alone

3. Express yourself – tell people how you are feeling

4. Limit media exposure – it can be overwhelming

5. Stay busy – start a project and create routine, including personal hygiene

6. Get outside – even in your own backyard – excercise and exposure to full spectrum lighting (sunlight) causes a rise in endorphin levels

7. Help others – it gives a sense of purpose and helps you feel better generally

8. Recognize this will pass – make peace with acceptance – you cannot control this 

There are some things in your control however and engaging in these activities can be very helpful. You can control:

•  What you eat and drink

• Who you spend time with

• How you speak to others

• How you control your personal care including hygiene and exercise

• How you spend your time

• How you speak to yourself

 And finally here are some self care ideas:

1.  Create a predictable daily schedule

2. Get between 7-9 hours of sleep each night

3. Eat well and hydrate

4. Exercise/get outside/plan fun activities/playtime

5. Relaxation routine (meditate, yoga, deep breathing)

6. Practice gratitude

7. Connect with others

Just Do the Thing

Like many of us, I often procrastinate and delay doing the things I don’t really want to do - whether it’s my taxes or cleaning out the garage. It hit me a few years ago that……holy moly……what a waste of time and energy. Sometimes I’ll even get up the nerve to do the thing but decide I need to prolong the suffering with an elaborate array of appetizer tasks - things I don’t really need to do but I convince myself that if I do those things first, THEN I can move on to the dreaded thing. How can I do my taxes before I finally address that closet that’s been bugging me for years? What I finally realized is that I was wasting precious life energy delaying, avoiding, procrastinating. Now, I am getting better and better at JUST DOING THE THING. I don’t want to spend too much of my life energy in a state of dread and anticipation. What’s more, I’m shocked at how often the thing actually takes very little time whereas the amount of time it takes to procrastinate can really add up. The last time I avoided doing my taxes I bet I spent many, many hours in delay tactics and had this terrible feeling of anticipation and avoidance/dread. Once I actually did them, I realized it took maybe an hour. 

So now, more often than not, I just do the thing and move on…..there are always going to be things in our path that we don’t want to do. When I add up the hours spent in procrastination and avoidance I realize it’s not a good way to spend my life energy. I want to spend that energy on things I actually want to do. We think we’re delaying the pain of doing what it is we don’t want to do but we’re actually just prolonging it. So just do the thing!

Why Come to Therapy?

People come to therapy for any number of reasons….for some, it’s because there is an immediate, obvious reason. It could be because of divorce, depression, anxiety, grief, problems at work, etc. For some, they may not even know exactly what is wrong, something is just not….right.

There is something very powerful about having a witness to our lives. Something in the human condition, no matter how insightful we may be about ourselves, makes it such that sometimes we need mirrors - people who can help us see ourselves more clearly and identify our maladaptive patterns.

I also believe that therapy is as important as ever in the modern world, where stress is so common and people are under so much pressure to “succeed” in today’s world. Technology, while being a tremendous advancement, has also brought with it some problems. While adding a lot to our lives, it’s also taken away some of the ways we used to connect with others that are quite valuable. A lot of people are struggling to figure out how to maintain these important human connections while juggling their responsibilities and the pressures of the modern world.

For me, part of the “magic” of therapy is that, as a therapist, we have no investment in a persons’ choices beyond wanting the best for the person. There is an unconditionality to the therapeutic bond that is not common in most human relationships. One of the greatest gifts, for me, of being a therapist it to be able to sit with people and share in their lives. To watch people become more and more themselves is a true honor.